Did you watch MMK tonight? I did . . . and I loved what Kiray Celis said to one of her deaf-mute students: “Focus on what you have, not what you don’t.” Admittedly, it’s hard, because it’s human nature to want that which we think would complete us—in this story, height. That story was such an awakener! For aeons, a long time ago, I dwelled on the lack of many things in my life—by things I mean: good grades in school, a talent, the woman I wanted to be, a boyfriend who would love me despite all of the above.

I was never student material since I entered first grade, so my grades were as low as my self-esteem. There was nothing I was good at. Worst—from school through the real world—all of those I had a crush on shunned me because it’s either they wanted the real McCoy or I just wasn’t their type.

But all of those missing in my life were gradually forgotten, when I started learning to love myself by getting a university degree, honing what talents I was gifted with, and being careful with my heart.

To the self-righteous and the ones with superficial faith out there, never mind reading through the rest of my blog. What makes me different is, perhaps, a certain amount of faith, as I have my own way of talking to God. To say that it’s only before Him that I can think aloud may not be so new to you. I was never ashamed to ask God to give me a boyfriend who’s smart and handsome, especially one who wouldn’t deny me in front of his family and friends. Was it granted? Yes and no! Only “they” could say what their true feelings for me then. But for you to tag them along with the mainstream boyfriends who are after only their “gay” girlfriends’ cash, you are totally wrong. I had none to dish out—and never will I have any for someone in the future. I was just too blessed to be in love with well-to-do men.

In tonight’s MMK, Kiray Celis‘s suitor (Arjo Atayde) told her: “When I look at you, I don’t see a dwarf. What I see is a beautiful, intelligent, and good-hearted woman.”

Well, now, I don’t harbor a grudge towards any of the boys who eventually broke my heart. We’ve remained good friends. And if you—to whom it may concern—are reading this, I’d like you to know that I will never forget the day you told me the same words which Kiray Celis heard from her suitor, except one word in the first sentence and the very last word, because I was already statuesque when you came into my life and I was never the woman that you wanted to love.

I wonder, when can I ever hear it again?

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